Expendables 2 : Unité spéciale

« My shoe is bigger than this car! » :-D Arnold est le Ed Wood des acteurs hollywoodiens. Expendables 2 sera probablement le film qui m’aura le plus amusé et aura le plus stimulé ma production de testostérone cette année. C’est une série B farfelue avec des effets numériques ringards et des répliques et références de genre glorieuses. Et le fait que ce soit JCVD qui donne la meilleure performance et qui joue le meilleur personnage est un événement historique en soi. (04/11/2012)

A bad joke. I didn’t expect to like Expendables II very much, I’m not the target audience of the genre of soulless, old-fashioned action films after all, but that I wouldn’t like it even as a well made, undemanding pop-corn flick, was a surprise, especially after the very positive responses. The biggest problem is in the action. To begin with, there’s very little of it, and it’s not even good. Many people praise the fact that this time the camera is not epileptic and the editing is not like a video clip, but instead of that we have long clear shots, when the whole lot is actually not clear at all. West works clumsily with the space, it’s not clear who is escaping whence and whither, who is following whom and where they are shooting at… All the action (with the exception of the opening scene, where this doesn’t fully apply) is basically a tiring montage of someone running and shooting, without any dynamics that would pull the viewer into the plot. And the script, if we can call it that, it’s awful. I know that only an idiot could expect sophistication from a film like this, but this is already too much! The characters move without any concept somewhere in the huge expanses of the former Soviet Union, they amusingly run into each other, and when the heroes are in deep trouble, SOMEONE comes, saves everyone, and then leaves. And they frame it with crap like “Jeez, thanks for stopping by”. Like, what the fuck? There are only about six good jokes and one-liners, and half of them are directed at Lundgren. Expendables II is a product with a short shelf-life (this certainly won’t be a cult movie) that gets good reviews from the fanboys thanks to the same model that makes teenage girls wet with Twilight and Potter-fans love the last Potter films – they can watch their favourite stars doing something on the screen, regardless of what, how and why it’s done. But that’s not enough to make a good film, quite the opposite, actually. Two stars, and I don’t even know what for, maybe for the professional look and the nice dose of light-heartedness here and there. Otherwise, crap. (07/09/2012)

It's not less that a good old classic. A group of retirees travel to digitally modified Bulgaria, alternating game maps that reflect the nostalgic-archetypal touch of the genre, and here and there we have deus ex machina, greeted by a volley of insider jokes. The banality of the plot as well as the parody touch of space and characters add post-modern qualities to it, while Simon West also adds clear personal qualities and a solid tempo. Fortunately, Stallone already understood that some seriousness or "realistic" motivation had no place here - nostalgics wanted their messages and more winks. Blunt warrior macho sentiment still abounds, but this time it's filler between great comedic performances and cutting action with much better timing than in the first film. Although it is again "only" an action encyclopedia, this time it is richly illustrated and has even more bloated references to the mythology of the wheezy grandfathers. I had a great time. (27/08/2012)

Incredibly long waiting was finally cut off by a visit to the cinema. Otherwise, it was impossible. The Expendables 2 is a movie that appears in the world of action movies once in a lifetime, right? Well, actually now for the second time, but now with a cast of actors whose meeting is so beautiful for a fan of old good action movies that it cannot be described in words. I haven't looked forward to a movie as much as this one in a long time, and I haven't enjoyed it as much as this one. My youth was influenced by Saturday evenings on Novo, when some action movie appeared there every week. Thanks to Novo, I developed an incredibly close relationship with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Chuck Norris (yes, even him! :-D), later with Stallone, Lundgren, Statham, and Jet Li. Their meeting in one movie was a huge experience for me. In addition, each character in the movie was incredibly likable. The lines were absolutely blessed. Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger pleased that they could make fun of themselves. Action after a long time really action-packed and great, the story pleasantly simple and perfectly fitting for an action movie. What more could you wish for? What more could a fan of action movies from his youth ask for? Perhaps just fewer idiots who don't understand here on the database that an action movie is primarily about feelings towards individual actors and not about whether it will have a story, an idea, a concept. Honestly, the story in an action movie always interested me the least, or I didn't give a damn about it. I always looked forward to Arnold, Jean-Claude, or Bruce, who were spouting one brutal line after another... and everything else was just a bonus. But apparently, someone like Cervenak will never understand that. It's enough for me to read his comment. Looking for something intelligent in such a movie can only be done by someone who has never understood such a movie and the actors who play in it in his life. Supposedly, an action rinse needs a story? :-D You really made me laugh. For me, it was a huge experience, and I am glad that I could be a part of it. One of my childhood dreams came true, and that simply counts. By the way, Jean-Claude Van Damme finally proved to those puppets not only here but all over the world that he is a great actor. His character on the side of the enemies was absolutely divine, and the final scene is practically legendary already. (19/09/2012)

Objectively, with a runtime of under two hours, you just can't give all the characters the space they undoubtedly deserve. Beyond that, it’s a pure action spectacle that works exactly as I wanted it to because it doesn’t underestimate fan intelligence - this is the only way to get the action going, which is secondary because the primary thing is to ride the wave of catchphrases that beat into the mummified icons of most of the people involved. (12/09/2012)